This week I did something out of the ordinary—I took a
seemingly random Thursday off from work to celebrate a friend’s pre-wedding
festivities. But this was no ordinary friend and no ordinary group that I hung
out with. Kate will be getting married about a week from now, and she is
actually the officiant for my own wedding ceremony in August. And the company I
was with consisted of women with a lot more life experience than me, from those
already in 15-year marriages to those finding love for a second or even third
time. Some are old enough to be my grandmother, and yet they rocked their awesome
selves during a full day of limo-riding to wine-tasting cellars, boogieing down
in the evening at a happening club with live music and a steady flow of cocktails.
I never pictured myself hanging out with a bunch of
divorcees and sharing potato chips and flatbread over stories of exes. You’d
think it’d be borderline depressing to celebrate three impending weddings while
being in the presence of statistical proof of the high divorce rate in America.
Instead, it was refreshing and eye-opening to get such perspective on life. In
my family, in my culture, you’re expected to live life a certain way, and the
smallest deviation from that path can be looked down upon and berated. I used
to think so often in terms of “the end.” Graduating from college being THE END
of your academic years, as if you just stop learning forever. Getting married
as being THE END of your single years, as if you stop being spontaneous and
having fun. Having children as THE END of your traveling endeavors or nights
out with friends. Getting a divorce as THE END to possessing love. But when I’m
around people giving off so much life and energy, I see things as the beginning—another
chance to open up and claim what’s best for yourself, to find love anew, to
allowing yourself to be happier than you thought possible.
My fiancé and I asked Kate to be our officiant because,
aside from having a great reading voice and experience in front of a crowd, she
gives off this fun, exuberant, eager-to-try, happy-to-do aura that inspires those
around her. With her long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, Santa Cruz tan, and
fit yoga body, she makes me think of the sun and the sea, all that’s good on a
lovely summer day. She’s the embodiment of positive energy, and witnessing her
ever doing or saying anything negative is as strange as watching an egret’s
feathers go black. No sooner had our group sat down in our cabana to order
appetizers before our dinner than Kate beelines to the stage to dance in front
of the band. I have always loved dancing, but I am usually in the presence of
people who don’t care for it in social settings or at weddings, where the crowd
is more conservative and would prefer to sit and watch than to stand up and
stand out.
It’s not hard, though, to follow Kate out to where the party’s
getting started. I let the music infuse my body and, with no formal training in
dancing, simply let myself pick up the rhythm. It feels good just to move. Kate
doesn’t just dance—she sings along, serenades the band as they sing back and
smile at her, dances individually with those in her party, rubs elbows with
random strangers and pulls them into the our dancing circle. The music takes me
up, and the bass pounds out flashbacks of a day we celebrate in honor of her
finding love: sipping champagne, chardonnay, pinot grigio, merlot; nibbling foccacia
bread, crackers, pita chips; discussing literature, writing, historic land
preservation, joy.
Every day is an adventure; every gathering with friends and
friendly strangers, a gift. Here’s to life and love and happiness always worth
pursuing.
