Before my next-door neighbor "Big Mike" passed away from lymphoma, one of the last conversations Tung and I had with him was about our shared fence. Not yet hospitalized at Stanford for his medical treatment, Mike stood on his lawn and discussed general home repair with us, asking us how we felt about extending the concrete riser wall that only went partway into our backyards before a shorter fence, built directly into the ground, made up the rest of the length.

Where the concrete riser stopped and the dark-brown old fence began between Mike's and our houses

I think of Robert Frost's poem, "Mending Wall," whereupon the narrator's neighbor proclaims many times, "Good fences make good neighbors," in contradiction to the refrain of the narrator, "Something there is that doesn't love a wall." Truth in both statements--you'd think neighborly neighbors don't need to put up a barrier between them, and yet this "walling in" and "walling out" establishes boundaries, privacy, respect.

It's interesting to see how two houses built next to each other can have such different yards, with ours focusing on an abundance of fruit trees against Mike's neatly-manicured lawn with ornamental flowers and decorative bushes--"He is all pine and I am apple orchard." 
 

Mike's and Tracey's yard, exposed with the shared fence down, that we see through our rain-smattered bedroom window

There's much to be said about undertaking a shared fence project with your neighbor. It's a balancing act of establishing a budget, agreeing upon a contractor to get the work done, and hoping that the thin wood partition does not remain down for too long so the dogs can have off-leash freedom in their own respective yards. It tests your communication, negotiation, and schedule-planning skills as you'd want to continue a healthy relationship with your neighbor once the project is over. I've heard cases of neighbors--who probably didn't get along to begin with--being even more crossed with each other over fence negotiations (when to change out an old one, what to pay, who pays, etc).

Our neighbor's gardener was commissioned to swap out the old fence with a new one, and his brother-in-law worked on the concrete riser wall. Scheduling in two contractors was also a balancing act as one had to come tear down the fence before the concrete wall was put in and set to dry, then come back to put up the new fence.

Step 1: Tear-down of old wood fence and digging the trench for the concrete riser wall

Step 2: Adding wood beams to level out the trench at different segments

Step 3: First layer of concrete blocks that make up the wall

Step 4: Complete riser wall and braces for the heavier fence posts

Step 5: New fence goes up

Not long after we attended Mike's funeral, his widow Tracey picked up where he left off months ago and asked us about this fence project. In honor of his memory--Mike, who loved tending to his garden and home and providing for his wife and son; Mike, who put up seasonal decorations to make his front yard one of the most festive on our block--we decided that "good fences make good neighbors." A good, strong fence replaced the blackened old one. The dogs are happy to have their yards back. And we catch up with Tracey and Alex, their son, when we happen to see them watering the ornamental bushes on their front lawn, as Mike used to do.

Mike, this one's for you.

MENDING WALL

Robert Frost

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Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
"Stay where you are until our backs are turned!"
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, "Good fences make good neighbors."
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
"Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down." I could say "Elves" to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me--
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."

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