Friday, May 1, 2015

Month of May Photo Challenge. Day 1: Portrait of a Family Member

I've always adored my husband's feet, with their plump roundedness and top arch like a camel's hump. I always joke that feet like his were destined for a comfortable life, while flat, angular, bunioned feet like mine were destined to a peasant's life of working in the fields. We are actually both tech professionals (make of that what you will in relation to my theory), but today, I reflect upon the connotations of bare feet. 

In horror movies, zooming in to bare feet magnifies the audience's awareness of vulnerability, the feeling of being unequipped, exposed, and unprepared to run. But often, I associate bare feet with practicing martial arts, most done without footwear so that you are aware of the sensations of the ground: textured mats, cool hardwood. It also evokes in me a sense of comfort and relaxation, of kicking off the confines of shoes, of being home.



Saturday, March 7, 2015

Enter the Dragon


Yesterday, for Employee Appreciation Day, our Execs cooked us a pancake breakfast and then brought in a San Francisco Lion Dance Troop to bring luck to our company for the Year of the Sheep. As the drums and gongs started to play out a booming beat to articulate the story of a Lion Dance, I was taken back to a time during elementary school when another Lion Dance Troop came to usher in the Lunar New Year at a multicultural awareness assembly. Not having seen such a loud and festive performance with giant mystical beasts before, some of my schoolmates burst into tears and covered their ears.

Noise is such a big part of the Lunar New Year: drums keep the beat for a Lion Dance, cymbals add to the music, and firecrackers are usually lit at the end of a dance or on New Year's Eve to scare away the bad spirits of the old year and to welcome in the new.

As the large dragon's head came right up to me, its eyes blinking rapidly, giant and awe-inspiring, I felt my heart beat along with the drums. I felt strength and power looming before me. And I felt, even on a continent an ocean away from my birthplace, that I was home.

How often does destiny loom before us, perhaps intimidating and even threatening? How often have we feared the change, covered our ears from the noise, and wanted to shrink back from the huge unknown? Luck and chance will come to stare us in the face with large and luminous eyes. It's up to us to recognize this, see our soul reflected by courage, embrace what's meant to be ours, and enter the dragon.





Friday, February 27, 2015

The Humble Banana

Every time I eat a banana, I think of my husband, not just because we are both born under the zodiac sign of the Monkey, but because of a story he told me about his youth. We had both known hunger and poverty before immigrating to the United States. At school, when the other boys in his class would pack fulfilling lunches complete with a fruit for dessert, my husband would ignore his rumbling stomach and try to hold out for dinner, his next meal. Once, he casually asked if a classmate would share the banana he was eating, and the classmate responded off-handedly that he could have the thin veins, leftovers of the peel that came off the main flesh of the fruit. My husband took this small afterthought gift and ate it, savoring the tannin-like astringency on his tongue, enjoying the slightest hint of banana flavor. We have to learn to sample the astringent in times of hardship before we can partake in tasting the sweet in times of abundance.

Now, we buy Cavendish and Thai bananas by the bunch every week, never to go short of them again. We make banana smoothies with the fruits from the backyard of the house we saved up for and bought together; we bake fresh loaves of banana bread in our oven and enjoy them for breakfast. My husband has this grand dream of growing some Thai banana trees (my favorite variety) in our yard, even though they are a Southeast-Asian-native variant.

And down the road, when we are both old and gray, when our skin has developed the aged liver spots that also freckle an overripe banana, even long after we are comforted with never having to worry about our next meal again in a land of lavish and bountiful food--whenever I sit alone and peel a banana to eat, I will still savor the smell of youth and hope from this sweet, humble, and nutritious fruit; I will think of my husband's days of long ago, and never forget what it is like to lack, to want, to strive, and finally--to achieve.


Thai bananas for sale in a Viet Nam market

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Cowdog with the Brown Eyes







 The years with Odin pass by like the seasons that I daily walk him through, sometimes with subtle and barely perceptible changes like shadows elongating with the shifting sun, sometimes noticeable like a demanding gust of winter wind. An Australian Cattle Dog is not like a Labrador. This is not as popular of a breed, barely recognized by the American Kennel Club (AKC) 34 years ago in 1980. For perspective, Labradors were recognized in 1917, a whole 97 years ago. He is not exactly your average family dog, predictable and passive around strangers and children. He is intelligent and wild like the dingo that makes up part of his heritage, full of energy as is necessary for his lineage of cattle drovers, needing constant mental and physical stimuli to be happy and entertained.






This is how Odin tests me:
  • He counter-surfs for food. 
  • He barks obsessively at the vacuum cleaner.


  •  He barks obsessively at the mailman, shredding my sheer curtains and raking claws across the leather sofa in attempt to show off his viciousness as a guard dog.

  • He beelines to the garbage can after a decent breakfast of premium kibbles and fresh-cut fruit, lifts the lid, and peers in, just to spite me. 
  • He learns “shake paws” on the third try but refuses to ever do a full 360-degree roll. 
  • He prefers to stay right under my feet when I’m cooking, causing many dangerous accidental trips, sometimes with boiling liquid or knife in hand. 
  • He digs craters in my backyard to go after ground squirrels and gophers. 
  • He rolls in the dirt and burr-lined grass right after I bathe him. 
  • He steals other dogs’ toys in the dog park and prefers to play with anything other than what I bring in for him. 
 
  • He has this dirty-floppy-bone-toy and squeaky-ball obsession that has caused me to drag him home from the park on account of him locking down his jaws on these items and continuing to be stubborn when I tell him to give those back. 
  • He has several times set off the alarm by launching his body at the sliding glass door upon seeing a bird or squirrel, causing many panicked drives home to check if I’m being robbed. 
  • He is leash-reactive when not permitted to greet other dogs on his walk, rearing up on his leash with spittle flying like he wants to rip the other dogs to shreds instead of merely sniffing them. 
  • He is car-possessive, launching into shrill, half-crazed barks at random pedestrians, causing me to jump out of my skin as I am behind the wheel.


Over the course of the two years he's been with me, I managed to break a lot of these habits. He is the first of 6 dogs that I’ve owned in my lifetime that I did not raise from puppyhood. I adopted him when he was (an estimated) 3 years old, a full-fledged adult, and due to this, so much of his past is lost to me. Sometimes he would sit under the patio and stare into the night, and I wonder if he is remembering where he’d been or missing the people who had once upon a time loved and cared for him. I think up stories about him in an effort to shape his past and define his identity:
  • He likes Indian food as he’d get out of bed to beg when I bring home carry-out.
  • He will be forever grateful that I introduced him to persimmons. 
  • He could have had 3 siblings (or 4, or 5), some with erect ears in the true nature of cattle dogs, some with floppy ears like him. 
    Potential Littermates? http://www.dailyencouragement.net
  • Someone must have chased or thrown things at him when he was lost and wandering as he’d sometimes startle on his walk with tail tucked between his legs until I assured him that everything was ok, and to not be afraid.
  • He must have known a baby in his previous family as he’d curiously inspect baby strollers brought into the dog park or come sniff at waddling toddlers, always with respect and care.

An old dog can indeed learn new tricks, especially a clever cattle dog. Odin learned to:
  • Stay off the furniture
  • Heel on a leash 
 
  • Shake paws 
  • Crawl 
  • Lie down (he’d always act like he doesn’t know this one as he hates doing it)
  • Roll (but never a 360-degree roll)
  • Wait, come, and eat, only on command
  • Catch a Frisbee
  • Retrieve a ball
  • Stand on his hind legs

A dog can’t talk. He can’t tell me about his past. Actions are all that he has, and through actions, he gradually tells me that he loves me. He listens for when I wake up every morning, floppy ears alert for the sound of my footsteps. He nuzzles my hand when I sit lost in thought so that it would rest on the white blaze of fur on his forehead. He leaves his zestful play in the beloved ocean to come sit by my side on driftwood, pressing his warm body against me as together we silently watch the sun go down.




I met Odin at the animal shelter when I was dropping off donations once belonging to my previous dog that had just died. I didn’t think that I was ready yet for a new dog, but the volunteers at the shelter gently coerced me to meet the cattle dog with the brown eyes. I had never seen an Australian Cattle Dog before. With his coat dappled with black and white and his leopard-like spots, he looked part wild. Maybe even dingy and mangy to some, but he had warm brown eyes that melted me, and I said immediately to his foster mom, “I think he’s beautiful.”



We remember our lives in fleeting images called moments. The more memorable ones remain in the banks of our minds, resurfacing now and again in both mundane and unexpected ways--in the midst of laughter when we are full of life, in the silent shadows on the verge of death, on the cusp of sleep, in the cradle of dreams. I will never forget that moment, when I met Odin and we locked eyes for the first time, the day his life began with me, the day I staggered slowly out of grief and began my life anew.











Sunday, May 4, 2014

Birthday Boy

Tung's birthday weekend bash began with dinner at Ruth's Chris's Steakhouse in Walnut Creek.



The next morning, we did a couple's massage at Rose Garden Massage, and then we had brunch at Scrambl'z. Because food and massages are some of the best things on earth!

Yummy sides: angry potatoes (with jalapeños), white choco taco (pancakes), and monkey bread. Love the little graphic flags.

Friday, April 11, 2014

The Rose

Near the time we moved into our house almost four years ago, Tung and I took a trip to Half Moon Bay. On the way home, we visited a nursery, where I found this beautiful "Dream Come True" rose bush, with soft pink petals slightly blushing white, and a golden center like the sun. I bought it with the last cash I had in my wallet that day, sat with it wedged between my feet for the ride home, and planted it in my garden that week.

It died.

Most of you think I have a green thumb because of all my fruit trees and flowers, but back before my gardening skills were properly honed, I was pretty devastated.

Without saying much about it, Tung then put another rose in its place, a scrawny stalk of a thing that mostly looked like a weed for the last four years. He braced it against a wood stick. He watered it often.

Today is the first day it bloomed.

In life, there are immediate solutions, and then there are long-term labors of love and patience. I'll bet sometimes he thinks I forgot about it. But I recall my "Dream Come True" rose. I peek out to my garden at his rose replacement every morning after he has left me for work and I am alone. I remember the little, unspoken things that he did--still does--for me.

And if our future children ask me, this is one of the ways in which I will attempt to explain love.



Sunday, April 6, 2014

Judo

This is Judo.



I assume my brother gave him this name because he's into MMA, and his dog, naturally, would like to take his brawls close to the ground. Leave it up to a Pembroke Corgi's short stature to have that covered.



Odin didn't get a Corgi brother named Thorgi as planned, but he got the next best thing with his new cousin, Judo.


Welcome to the family!